I was so certain....

That one day I would just pull it all together magically.
I dreamed of a life with a lot of children baking cookies while wearing my
Williams Sonoma apron.  Hair and make-up on EVERY.DAY.
House cleaned.
Bathrooms sparkling.
Children educated.
And properly trained so as to never embarrass their parents while out in public.
All wearing beautifully ironed, never stained clothing.

Instead.

I do indeed have a lot of little children.  AWESOME!
I don't bake cookies because I'm fat.
And on Weight Watchers.
And I am a characterless eater so to make cookies would be my down fall.

I do indeed own a Williams Sonoma apron.
It's pretty.
Yellow and blue.
I don't know where it is or if it's clean though.
Or if it would fit over my 5 time champion baby belly.
I cleaned my hair today.
It's not fixed yet.  And I don't put make up on because...I just don't.  I don't know why.

My house....oh my.  What to say about that.
It is always on the verge of shear disaster.
One step away from condemnation.
And even if I just cleaned it, there are always those congested areas that seem to never make it into my daily regimen of cleaning.  They linger in the back of my mind always undone.
Like my stinkin' walk in closet.
Never gets cleaned.

Dishes get done in the morning.
Never time in the evening to do dishes.
Laundry gets done...daily. But never completely caught up.
EVER.
It's the dark cloud over my head.

Children are educated.
Though, they do embarrass me.
I am Isaac's mother, remember?

And yet, I am deliriously happy!
I have 5 beautiful, healthy children who I get to stay home with every day and raise!
A wonderful husband who loves me with or without make up.
I have a nice home.
Dirty, but nice.

So, this is my reality.
And I love it.
How you doin?