The Lord giveth, and He taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

For the last couple of years, my husband has really been burdened about
the little amount of time that we were able to go 
see his parents who lived 6 hours away.
So, we decided to make as many trips as we could.
We used to only go once a year.
Since January, we had 2 planned trips and one trip where we just decided the day before that
we were going to drive 6 hours one morning, visit, and then drive back that night.
Now, you know me.
Or maybe you don't.
But, I did NOT want to take that trip.
I have written down in my Bible my New Years Resolutions.
Top of the list this year 
was to give up my wants and desires and concentrate more on my husbands.
Boy, am I glad I kept my mouth shut!
That was the last time that we saw him my Father~in~law alive.

I am so thankful to God for that one last visit. 
I wonder, did I hug him enough when we were there?

Did I joke and tease him?
I don't honestly remember.
Though, Justus says he is pretty sure I did.

The last bits of advice he was ever able to give his son.

Our last picnic.  

Isn't it sad how much we take for granted?

All I could think about the morning that we found out Dad had died
was that I hadn't hugged him goodbye this day.
I got the kids in the car and jumped in so that we could quickly get down the road.
I KNEW I hadn't hugged him
I even thought maybe I should have Justus stop so I could get out and hug him.
It would have taken 2 seconds!
But I didn't. 

I was so blessed!
And, I didn't even realize it.
Isn't that how it so often is?

My Mom died 5 years ago with breast cancer.
One of my sister~in~laws asked me which was harder?
Knowing she was going?
Or getting a 2 minute phone call?

We had 2 1/2 years of little pieces of my Mom's death.
We got those just one piece at a time.
Very rapid growing cancer.
And then no chance of survival.

With Dad, it was literally a 2 minute call from my husbands brother.
"Dad's dead."

The phrase I heard so many times that day:
"I just can't believe it."

And we couldn't believe it.
Just plain shock.

I will write more about the next couple of days tomorrow.
If you don't want to read it, that is fine.
I am writing this all out for us to have.
I have asked Justus what he remembers...it's barely nothing at all.
I would like for him to have some memories.
Thanks for listening.



The Doll Family said...

Oh Amy - how my heart hurts for your family. I continue to pray for you. THANK YOU for reminding us to treasure every moment. My mom is visiting this week, and as soon as she gets back from Wal-Mart (HAHA!!:)) I am REALLY going to enjoy our time together...even more than before!

Jennie said...

Thanks for being real and transparent....and lots of hugs during this difficult time.

Love ya,

Marisa said...

Im so sorry for your loss! It is so hard to lose those we love the most! So glad you are writing this all down. Things we think we will remember forever so easily leave our memories! And I understand the feeling of thinking I should of hugged them one last time! My grandfather died when I was in high school and I didnt hug him goodbye or tell him I loved him the last time I saw him. Ill NEVER forget that feeling of wishing I had done those things. It changed me forever. Im sure people thing Im nuts but I hug all the people I love and tell them how much I love them when I leave them even if Im gonna see them in a little bit. Anyways... Still praying for you guys!!!

Christi said...

Amy, thank you so very much. I can learn so much from you. I have tried so very hard to put my thoughts about my dad down but I can't seem too. My mind gets bogged down and my eyes fill with tears. I am blessed that you are part of my family. You have a way of writing things that just touch the heart. Love you tons Sweet Amy.

Kayte said...

I think you'll be glad you're taking the time to write all these things out. You'll no doubt sacrafice a box of tissues of two in the process! (as will those of us who read it!) Thanks for the reminder to NEVER take our loved ones for granted.

Cindi said...

Thank you for sharing this. I have been reminded how uncertain life is this week. Tomorrow, my friend Erin will bury her 16 day old baby. She gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl, 18 days ago. Sunday her little girl, Ashlynn, took a turn for the worst. Her little undeveloped lungs were not improving and her vitals were unstable. On Tuesday, Erin held little Ashlynn as she took her last breath.
I don't think I will ever view my children the same.

~Amy~ said...

Oh Cindi! I am so sorry. That is just painful to hear. I am gonna pray for Erin. I can't even imagine.

Mary said...

I agree with Christi, you do have a wonderful way of writing down these memories. My mind also gets bogged down in the memories and I can't get the words to make sense.
One thing that JJ has said many times since Dad went to Heaven is that Satan's easiest-to-believe lie is that we have more time. You can apply that anywhere...
I don't really have any regrets about my relationship with my Daddy, small ones - sure, but no big ones. I only thought, "I wish we'd had more time." Mom said, "We didn't have enough time."
I want to try even harder to remember that time is fleeting and I never have as much as I think I do.
Thanks, Amy, for being a wonderful sister who honored my Dad in the best way you could've...by honoring and respecting his son. My Dad loved you very much, and loved the relationship you and Justus have together. I'll have to tell you sometime the things he would say, bragging on you. He loved you as a daughter, and as his son's wife, and as his grandchildren's mother.

Debbie said...

I know a little how you feel, Amy. The last time we saw him was because my husband decided to stop on our "way" from Michigan to St. Louis to see Kim & Lee. I was very emotional over things happening with Mom in Michigan and concerned about the snow storm (no pun intended) coming, and wondered if it was wise to stop. I also am glad I listened to my hubby. We ended up stopping at a hotel because of the storm, but I would have kicked myself now, if I hadn't got to see him again. We had such a nice visit and my last hug from him!

~Amy~ said...

Wow. Isn't it weird how we didn't have any idea, but it didn't take God by surprise. He knew. So thankful for that!