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3/08/2011

C~section..

I am going to share my very private and sad c~section story with you...
maybe you have some tips or advice.
I hadn't really intended on ever having to think about it again...and then came Annaleah.

3 weeks before his due date, Titus flipped in my belly to heads up.
I felt it happen.
It was odd.
So I told my midwife and she suggested we go in the next day to do a version (where they physically flip the baby from the outside to heads down again.)

{{And yes, it is as painful as it sounds}}

So, we went in at 6 the next morning.
They flipped him.
And then my labor started.
She wasn't sure if I would just have the version and go home, or if we would do labor that day.
But Titus decided for us.
So, we got set up in a room and began labor.
When it started getting painful, I asked for an epidural.
It was around 3 that afternoon.
Well, they had put a brace on my belly to keep him heads down and when they took it off to give me the epidural, he flipped again.  He was apparently having a great time in there.
And then horror of all horrors!  MY WATER BROKE.
My midwife knew that my last labors were fast after the water broke {Isaac was 20 minutes} so she told me she was going to take me in for an emergency c~section.
Even the day before when she had warned me it could come to this, I didn't believe it would.
I know women who have only had c~sections and were just fine with it.
But I have a serious anxiety to laying on my back.....and I was pretty sure that is where I would be during a c~section. ☺
So, I panicked right there in the birthing suite and just about fell out of the bed.  {Forgot I had an epidural and couldn't get up and run away.}  Whoopsie.  Thank God for Justus who caught me.  Poor guy.
Anyway, so when they finally took me back to the stark operating room, I was a mess.  And I yelled and told the anesthesiologist that I would pop his head off if he didn't get me up.
{{{Which of course, he couldn't, so he just looked at me.}}}  I'm so odd.
And I continued to panic the whole time.  My husband and my wonderful midwife Alice did all they could to keep me calm and keep me thinking about and talking about something else.

Fast forward three years....and here we are again.
A place I never expected to be at.  I never had anxiety problems until this, but I dream about it all the time now.
I have been told I have 3 options:
1.  VBAC
2.  Scheduled c~section
3.  Try VBAC and if there is a problem then I go right into emergency c~section.

I am so torn.

I DO NOT WANT TO BE PUT IN AN EMERGENCY SITUATION AGAIN!
But if I could go natural, I would love to.

Anyone have any advice?  Thoughts?



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